Forgot to take pictures...

but Valentine's night was a success :) 

Made the Asian pulled pork in the crock pot, and although I ruined a brand new dress eating the stuff it turned out to be delicious. The lemon cheesecake was excellent as well!

Also (despite the fact that I fell asleep during it), Amelie was wonderful :) Very heart-felt and cute.

Now, I'm sitting in the library and looking over my planner and thinking to myself that this semester is finally handlable. Deleting just one event from my planner made things a lot better and that's definitely a nice thing to have in my life.

My boyfriend gave me this card for Valentine's day and it had a pretty poem in it that I very much like:

"Soul meets soul

On lovers' lips."

:)

That is all.

This February, 2014

It looks like this February looks good. From the outside perspective, there are events to be excited about. Things rarely go according to my plans..and of course there are lots of things that seem stressful, but for the most part, life looks good.
Firstly, I am going to a concert. Dr. Dog is the name, and wow! I'm pretty excited. My good friend and I are going together! So excited. Expect pictures from that event.
It's also Valentines Day, and for once I'm excited about it. Usually, it's like meh, what really do I have to be excited for. Not that I don't usually have a boyfriend or whatever, but I don't know. I guess usually I simply don't care. Just another day.
This year, though I'm excited. I think it's because the boyfriend that I have in my life. So sweet and loving..and I feel like he truly cares about me and will therefore do something really special (possibly).
Here is my plan:
1. Cook 2 new recipes:

• Asian style pulled pork
• Lemon cheesecake

which I'm HOPING turn out to be a success...

I also bought strawberries and chocolate for dipping yum :)

2. Watch one of three movies(all foreign)

• Amelie
• Life is Beautiful
• Let The Right One In

Any reviews/suggestions on that one? My favorite all time movie is Life is Beautiful. For the message that it brings...but who knows.

Anywho, back to studying.

And, as a fun bus driver once said...

Leggo!

Here is my life:

I'm sitting on my bed completely overwhelmed by the two exams which I didn't have enough time to study for cramming. I am drinking coffee..or milk with coffee in it because of my propensity to over-drink coffee and completely overwhelm myself, thus having panic attacks. My boyfriend calls and I snap at him, instantly irritated with him for no reason and with myself for being a total B. I pass out.
The next morning, I get a text message at 5am telling me that my first test is cancelled due to inclement weather IN CENTRAL TEXAS. And, instantly, I am relieved.

This is my last semester (as far as I know) at this University. I'm sitting here with so many options and possibilities that I just don't know which one to choose.
On one hand, there is the epic and magical land of Graduate School. IF (and it's a huge IF) I am accepted into grad school, I have the option to either defer my enrollment or simply attend and get the shit over with. BUT here's the thing: not feeling like you are ready for grad school and actually going creates a recipe for disaster, and ultimately failure.
Another option is to TRY to find a job as a SLPA..seemingly the most few and far in-between job out there. Yeah, of course there is the possibility of getting one..but I feel like there is almost no chance and that makes me not even want to try.
I've also been playing with the idea of teaching English in another country..but the thing with that is that almost every program requires a TEFL and that is something that costs money...I just feel like if it's not something that I'm super passionate about, then maybe I shouldn't do it...I'm not sure.
A fourth option would be to substitute teach in public schools for a year. Showing that I have the experience of working with children will show that I care and have credibility. It will ultimately boost my resume..but so would teaching in another country.

Basically, I'm a little lost. I don't know where I'll be living in the next few months, or where my life will take me.
Thinking about it, now, it might be helpful to make a goals list(to complete before I turn 30):
1. GRADUATE
2. Go to Graduate School and...
3. GRADUATE AGAIN
4. Get a dog and love him/her with all of my heart
5. Get a hedgehog
6. Car, new or used
7. Do something that makes me happy

Anyways, this is where I currently stand. In college, with a room-mate, have a boyfriend, and longing for a dog.
Peace.

I know it's random, but that's ok. 

My 2013

Was filled with so much craziness and laziness!
It started at a bar...

But not to drink at! Working as a cocktail waitress where you provide the poison that titillates and ultimately aches even the strongest.

It continued with a crash...

            and a break...

But I had a Valentine!

Love, Terrin <3

and, once I had mostly healed from the crash there was the beach..

With one of my best friends-the best friend.

Followed by a road trip 

where I saw this guy: 

 and this:

and this:

And, of course, this:

Oh! I turned 21 this year! Meaning, drinks are on me :) (for a little bit. and then I realized that alcohol costs money.) With that came my alcoholic summer filled with bar nights, cab rides, concerts, whiskey shots, and craziness. 

Then, my best friend turned 21...

Which turned out to be the most fun I'd ever had in my home city.

But, soon I calmed down and fell in love with running..

One of my very good friends turned 21... 

That was fun :) 

Discovering the magic of alcohol can be very troublesome, but of course I learned that early on. 

Met someone super special...

and made him mine 

Which, funny enough brings us back to the beginning: 

 

Where it all began in a bar....

Basically, I have some good memories and some bad ones. I jumped the gun on a lot of things and made some things happen. I lost someone I thought was special, but opened the door to others. I met some awesome people, and harvested my relationships with others. I learned a lot about myself..and honestly I hope that I continue to do that. I've been growing up and achieving things and living my life..and I don't feel like I'm done.

So, here's to hoping that 2014 comes with not only more growth in my life, but new experiences and (hopefully) better posts on here ;)

Expectations and all that

7 minutes! Go!

Waiting on a long line of brunchers to arrive (and literally not getting one) had me contemplating things in my life and how to navigate them. What expectations do I have of myself, and how do I plan on mastering them?I expect myself to be strong ALWAYS and if I'm not, never to let anyone know that I'm not strong. This of course means never asking for help, which has already landed me in a few bad places.
I expect myself to be successful at EVERYTHING. Failure is not an option, and I must be the best or damn near the best.
This only applies to small things, like work, and not school for some reason. I've unfortunately come to the conclusion that school is not something that one can be forever good at.
I don't know of any other expectations I have of myself, and I am now sitting here wishing that I did..

So, now is when I ask myself firmly. What are your expectations of yourself, and how can you make them greater?

Thankful!

Things people are thankful and are not thankful for. What things do we take for granted, and why? How does STUFF run our lives these days?

Well, as a natural born American, I can tell you at least a thing or two about it.

When I was a kid, having a cell phone was pretty normal. Not everyone had one, but if you did, it was average.

Entering middle school was a totally different story..EVERYONE had a cell phone. And if you didn't, why not? What was wrong with you that you didn't have a cell phone?

These days, I think that having a working cell phone with basic functions is taken for granted. Having this laptop and this apartment and all of the things I have here with me that make me so comfortable is kind of a natural thing and have even become necessities. I have to admit..I have taken a lot of what I am given and have for granted, just as the typical American has.

So..here are the things that I am grateful for this holiday season:

1. Warmth- and not the kind you get from a heater
2. My family..the small family that I have. Specifically, my Mom, stepDad, grandparents, cousins, and great Aunt
3. My boyfriend--Yes! As trivial as it is, I am thankful for my boyfriend. He's kind, warm, and gentle. Has the best intentions, and is constantly thinking of those around him- specifically those who are closest to him. And that means a lot to me..ALSO! He is responsible and can take care of himself! That's probably one of my favorite parts about him. I've spent a lot of the past few years taking care of others, and for once in my life I feel like someone is taking care of me...ok enough of that :)
4. My education. It is costing me an arm and a leg but it has been an educational and life journey towards something real: my Bachelor's degree. And I seriously hope to have one soon!
5. FOOD. Yes, I have determined that I am destined to be fat, because food is just so good!
6. To be alive! To experience a laugh, a cry, music, deep conversations with special people, the value of work, reading, evverryythingg. I love it all. And I can't wait to experience the lot of it.

Yeah :) This time last year, I was in a tough spot. Checking my ex boyfriend into a mental health clinic definitely wasn't on my "yes! I want to be doing this right now" list. And, he's still attempting to haunt me..which is crazy beyond all reason. But, now here I am. A year older, a year wiser, and much happier :)

Thanks!

Happy Thanksgiving!!

<3

Midterms...

...have arrived!
And, I must say that I am having a good semester so far! Although I haven't gotten the grades back for two exams yet, and I have another exam tomorrow, AND I haven't found anyone to write me a recommendation letter yet...
GRADUATE SCHOOL IS PROBABLY THE BIGGEST STRESS OF MY LIFE RIGHT NOW
which is why I am promptly ignoring it and completely pushing it out of my life for the moment.

Thinking of taking a year off..to do what?

Possible prospects for the probable year off before embarking on that mystical journey known as GRAD SCHOOL:

• Travel!
• Teach: anything to anyone; even if it means being a substitute teacher
• Find work as an SLP-A (which is never going to happen, because there are no jobs for SLP-A's)
• Join the Peace Corps
• Move back to San Antonio (...ha!)
• Move somewhere that will offer me an SLP-A job...
• Do nothing! Meaning, stay at Moonshine and work full time..

Basically, I have options..but they are winding down, and I'm kind of running out of time. Whooh. 

Here are some things contributing to my happiness at the moment:

I got a bike!

The prospect of getting a nose ring!

The prospect of getting a hedgehog!

Running!

Smoothies!

Being caffeine free!

Fall :) (and with fall comes pumpkins, burnt orange, football, dark purple, dark grey, boots, leggings, scarves, cardigans, and pecan pie :))

Lucas!! (My new boy :))

Typing things!

My bed!

My laptop!

Having curtains in my room!!

Flowers!

Tattoos, and tattoo ideas, and the probability of getting a half-sleeve one day!

Lots of things, basically.

So, there you have it; My October 9th in a nutshell.